Monthly Archives: July 2016

doggie

I happen to know this girlie who works at a customer’s place.
She is really young, intelligent, all in all a nice person to chat with.
So I was paying a visit to this customer and the following dialog took place.
Me: “Hi beautiful, what’s up?”
She: “I got a doggie!”
Me: “That’s good news! What kind of doggie?”
She: “What do you mean, what kind? It’s just a doggie, everyone has a doggie.”
Me: “I mean what is it? A poodle? A pug? A corgie?”
She: “I don’t know, it’s brown. Four legs.”
Me: “Can you show me a picture?”
She: “Sure, here is a video of him eating cookies.”
Me: “Ah it’s a poodle. I should have known. Hey what are those biscuits? Looks like Oreo to me.”
She: “Yes he likes cookies so much!”
Me: “Aren’t cookies supposed to be dangerous to dogs?”
She: “But he likes them so much!”
Me: “Well, it’s a fact. You can’t give sweet things to dogs. It’s harmful to them. Ask your vet.”
She: “Grumble grumble (trad.: nosy know-it-all foreigner who doesn’t understand 6000-years-old Chinese Culture).”

Some time passes, two months, maybe. Back to the same customer.

Me: “Hi dear! How are you?”
She: “All is good.”
Me: “How’s your doggie?”
She: “Fine! Didn’t you see my wechat posts?”
Me: “No I didn’t see even one of the gazillion boring pics you post every day along with a lame comment full of smileys, they’re all the same and I consider wechat posts a HUGE waste of time anyway. ”

Ah, I’d like to have the balls to say something like that!
Instead I said:

Me: “No I didn’t see your recent posts, I was very busy these days. Show me on your phone!”
She: “Here, look!” (shows video of a white poodle eating something)
Me: “How comes it is white now? Last time it was brown.”
She (Fake angry face): “That one died.”
Me: “No! Really! Why?”
She: “The vet said it was a weak one.”
Me: “So you bought another one?”
She: “Yes, of course.”
Me: “Did the vet say anything about food bad for dogs?”
She: “No… he just said it needs grooming and walking out.”
Me (inquisitive look): “Who is selling you the dogs?”
She: “The vet.”
Me: “I see.”